"Haunted Houses" by Larry Kettelkamp

A simple, fast read. -- 4 stars

"Haunted Houses" is a short, pleasant way to pass the time on a plane flight, which is exactly when I read it.

Seemingly aimed at a younger audience (and, interestingly, published by Xerox, the photo copy company), I picked up a used copy because the cover caught my eye.  In short, the 94 page book summarizes some of the most famous reported ghosts and poltergeists.

While author Kettelkamp does mention folklore and urban legends from time to time, he chose to focus his attention on only those reports that were recorded or corroborated in some official capacity.  For example, one story was documented in an official British court martial.  Other stories were included in police reports or University studies.  In other words, he does NOT pay attention to stories of simple hearsay.

I found the book enjoyable and interesting.  Again, the prose and illustrations felt aimed at younger readers, but this did not detract from my reading pleasure.  The only reason I'm giving it 4 stars instead of 5 is its flimsy "conclusions" in the epilogue.  Said conclusions were so "Your guess is as good as mine," the book might have been stronger without them.

Still, if you have an hour or two to kill, see if your local used book store might have a copy.  It's worth your time.

“Perfect Little Angels” by Andrew Neiderman

Didn’t deliver what it promised. -- 2-1/2 Stars

I decided to read “Perfect Little Angels” based on a glowing blurb by one of my favorite authors, Dean R. Koontz.  Koontz promised, “Scary from the first to the last page!”

Not for this reader, no.

According to the summary on the back of the book, not to mention its title, “Perfect Little Angels” is about strange teenagers living in a community called Elysian Fields.  The teenagers here do not rebel in any way, they do everything that is expected of them at all times, always, like good little boys and girls.  “Because in Elysian Fields,” the summary proclaims, “there are horribly effective ways to turn disobedient children into ...”  You get the idea.

Okay, this sounded sort of like “The Stepford Wives,” except that it’s the children, rather than the wives, who are the target.  I liked “The Stepford Wives,” and with an endorsement from Koontz, how could I go wrong?

My biggest problem with “Perfect Little Angels” was that I felt the summary, and even the title, were misleading.

The basics are there.  Elysian Fields has weirdly straight laced teenagers, but it’s not just them.  All the parents are weirdly uptight, too.  And then the protagonist, Justine, moves in, and ... she immediately starts falling right in line.  What?

Eventually, Justine does become the suspicious (but frustratingly helpless and unimaginative) hero, but only after one of the supporting characters, Lois, rattles her cage and tries to get her to stop taking the mysterious Doctor Lawrence’s vitamin (“The Good Pill”).  If we are to follow my comparison to “The Stepford Wives,” it would be as if Katharine Ross fell right in line with the uptight ladies in Stepford, and only started getting suspicious by following Paula Prentiss’ lead.

In short, Elysian Fields is a weird place all around, with even subdued wildlife.  From this reader’s perspective, this hardly warrants calling it “Perfect Little Angels,” since the kids are NOT the focus of the mystery.  It would be like calling “The Lord of the Rings” something like “Gollum.”

There is another plot line that was not even mentioned in the summary, and that is only connected to the Elysian Fields plot in that they are both overseen by Doctor Lawrence.  Something is wrong with the doctor’s son, Eugene, who has many different psychological/mental problems, and it’s even implied that he might be his father’s own Frankenstein monster.  On that last note, I will risk sharing a “spoiler” just enough to tell you that this implication never goes anywhere, not even in the exposition filled epilogue.

I could go on, about how Justine’s story takes forever to get going, while Eugene seems to just sit and wait for something to happen.  And then, when things finally come to a head ... it’s over.  Just like that.  The book manages to feel both too long and too short at the same time.

The prose itself is fine, which would prompt me to give it 2 stars rather than 1.  And the only thing that prompted me to nudge it up the extra half star is this:

In spite of one story line that felt misrepresented and another story line that barely goes anywhere, I did fine myself curious as to what would happen next, reading through the last 60 or so pages faster than my normal pace.

So the author had SOMETHING going for him, even if I still closed the book feeling dissatisfied overall.

“Ticktock” by Dean Koontz

A different kind of Koontz. -- 3 Stars

After reading Andrews’s “Araknid,” I was also ready for some Dean R. Koontz!  I picked up on of his older ones at my local library, but it wasn’t QUITE what I was expecting.

The story follows Tommy Phan, an Asian American who wants to be ALL American, much to his Asian mother’s disappointment. Upon returning home one evening, he finds a weird little rag doll waiting for him. But the doll turns out to be a disguise for something much more disturbing.

Koontz is mainly known for his horror/thriller novels, and that’s what I thought “Ticktock” was, at first.  It brought to mind an old TV movie called “Trilogy of Terror,” in which Karen Black gets tormented by a little African doll chasing her around her apartment.  But as the story unfolds, it gets weirder and weirder, bizarre even by Koontz’s standards, and he’s no stranger to the supernatural.

I was growing more and more disappointed in “Ticktock,” wondering what in the world Koontz had been smoking when he wrote it, when I finally GOT IT in the third act: “Ticktock” is not so much a horror novel, but a sort of send up of horror novels.  Things got sillier and sillier, but now that I had reframed my expectations, I didn’t mind as much.

Sure enough, Koontz goes on to admit that he wanted a break from his usual, darker stuff and used this as an attempt at a “screwball comedy.”  I’m not completely sure that he succeeded, which is why I’m giving the book 3 stars (which is still better than the 2 stars I had in mind for a while there).  In my opinion, if Koontz wanted to write a horror/COMEDY book, it might have been better off making things kooky right from the start, instead of slowly switching from horror to comedy along the way.

So, if you are interested in a horror/comedy tale, like maybe “Shawn of the Dead” or “Cabin in the Woods,” this one’s not bad.  If you go into it KNOWING that’s what you’re going to get, you might enjoy it more than I did.

“Araknid” by Christopher Andrews

The Triumvirate keeps getting better! -- 5 Stars

I’m back!  I know, I know, it’s been eight and half years since I last read a book.  Well, since I last REVIEWED a book anyway.  I promised my son I would try to get back into the swing of things, so I’m giving it the old college try by blowing the dust off my old blog. And as it turns out, my timing was good.  One of my two favorite authors, Christopher Andrews (the other being Dean R. Koontz), just released the next book in his Triumvirate series. And boy, was it worth the wait!

I gave the first book in the series, “Pandora’s Game,” 4 stars and the next, “Of Wolf and Man,” 5 stars (I confess I’ve never tracked down the short story that goes between the two).  You can read my reviews from earlier in this blog.  The latest, “Araknid,” gets another 5 stars from this reader!

Based on both the title and the creepy cover art, I expected “Araknid” to be all about spiders.  Don’t get me wrong, there are spiders a plenty!  But that’s not really what the core story is about. It starts a few months after “Of Wolf and Man.”  At the end of that book, Trey the zombie was dealing with a new growing hunger for living flesh, something that he always had under control but was getting stronger because of something that happened in Alaska.

At the same time, weird new monsters start appearing, and they seem to have an equally weird, predatory relationship with vampires, something that concerns the Triumvirate’s resident vampire Alistaire. And at the same time as that, a local exterminator notices a baffling and disturbing change in the spider kingdom around L.A.. And at the same time as THAT, a Hollywood director deals with his own spider problem and a very unwanted guest.

I can’t go too much farther into it before I start giving stuff away, especially where Trey is concerned.  But as you can probably tell, the plot for “Araknid” is a lot more full bodied than the books before it.  “Of Wolf and Man” had its own multi threaded plot, with supporting characters also dealing with the wolves while Sean struggled with his past, but not quite up to this new level.

As my reviews have shown, I LIKED the first two Triumvirate books, for sure.  But I have to say that Andrews’ writing has matured over the years.  Not just the prose, but the stories themselves. “Pandora’s Game” felt like a really good book written by a 20 something. “Of Wolf and Man” felt like an excellent book written by a 30 something. “Araknid” ripens in just this way, written like an outstanding author who has been writing for at least 20 years.

I usually like to throw in some of the things that I DIDN’T like about a book, but to be honest I didn’t find anything not to like here.  Except maybe for the book giving me the willies a few times (or “the itchies,” as one character puts it).

“Araknid” is creepy, compelling, clever, and even stronger on the horror factor than its predecessors.  The unexpected ending is balanced and instills permanent changes upon the Triumvirate. If you enjoy a rock solid horror novel, order a copy right away ... unless you really, really hate spiders, then steer clear!